In case any of you missed the final episode of TRL, we’ve done you a kindness by posting the last #1 video ever presented by the most baddest of asses, Sir Carson Daly. It’s time to paint on those skinnys and crank the bad memories to 11. And feel free to sing along!
And if you’re having trouble viewing our videos through vimeo, you can check them out at FunnyOrDie or Youtube.
I love you Dad!
After a brief hiatus, Beef & Sage brings you a new video to be thankful for. Happy Thanksgiving!!!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Wt-Rw70gYQo
Welcome to the world of High Definition. From now on, all new Beef & Sage video content will have the option of being viewed in HD. Simply click the “HD” button in the upper right hand corner of any new video to see it with dazzling clarity. And don’t worry, all you people with shitty slow computers, the videos are still set for normal playback, so you can keep enjoying our video goodness on your Apple II e-machine.
Hopefully, you’re not one of the hundreds of millions affected by the current pinkeye epidemic. But if you are, pry open those crusted eyelids and watch, because Kirk just might be able to cure you.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=I3FPyVvT4cM
Austin, TX
With the current state of the economy, a never-ending war being waged abroad, and the election of a new president, Americans have quite a bit to be worried about. But according to a new study conducted by the Johns Hopkins Institute of Research, all of these causes of woe “are totally poon” compared to the newest threat to our existence: Pinkeye. And the cause of this horrific affliction may shock you.
Pinkeye, also known as Trebon’s Syndrome, has baffled the medical world since its inception. Symptoms include redness of the eye, swelling, itching, and hyperflangea, a process in which the eye actually produces sour bread dough. And it is because of this bread dough, or “eyebatter,” that scientists have been able to trace the origin and cause of pinkeye.
“Upon examining the eyebatter under sophisticated electron microscopes, we were shocked to find traces of worms, sticks and feathers,” said Dr. P. Phrank Phelps of Johns Hopkins. “The components are the exact same as those found in pigeon stool. You know, poo-poo.”
It is believed that the pinkeye virus was brought to America by infected pigeons stowed away on trade ships. However, it remained dormant for hundreds of years until one of the diseased birds poo-poo’d directly into someone’s eyeball. The first reported case was from a prospector named Thaddeus Green in pioneer times.
The medical community has also turned its attention to pigeon pee-pee, stating that it might also be to blame for the recent outbreak of pinkeye.
The FDA has since released an official report stating that “It’s important to steer clear of pigeon excrement altogether. Both poo-poo and pee-pee.”
Happy Halloween!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=g0t8kMjEipQ
Alright peoples, you can stop hitting your refresh button on your browser. Check out the newest beef&sage original, THANK YOU SO MUCH.
Enjoy!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zjLs1-sw_r0
AKRON, Ohio (CNN) – Internet phenom, lemonparty.org announced Tuesday that it will go against Obamaniacs and give a full endorsement to Presidential candidate John McCain. “He has style, substance, and a great smile. I think he is a transformational figure,” lemonparty.org said on NBC’s Meet the Press.
Lemonparty.org noted that Obama’s looks and suave demeanor was initially a deterrent to the party “backing” John McCain. But after a long master debate and much “putting of heads together”, lemonparty.org has decided that McCain’s viewpoints are more in line with what their website and fanbase stand for.
In response to the question of Sarah Palin and the nature of her gender, lemonparty.org was quoted as saying, “We have a large male viewership as it were, but with the endorsement of the two-ball McCain/Palin combo, we look to increase the amount of females that visit lemonparty.org. Which is why we will be adding additional content that includes a little lemon for the ladies!”
John McCain himself was not available for comment, but a source directly below him said, “We’ll take support wherever we can get it. Time’s are getting really, REALLY hard.”
©2008 – P. Phrank Phelps
ladies and gentle men,
I have some truly amazing news. An incredifilm titled RICHARD COCKSMITH AND THE ABOVE GROUND POOL will be playing tonight at the alamo drafthouse ritz at 7:30. It stars Matt Connely and Erica May and is sure to please. This is just a taste of what you will see if you attend.
pool time fun
In addition to giving you a hearty smile, for every person who comes tonight I will donate $1 to the United Negro College Fund. Now which of you heartless souls will turn that down?
Also, be on the lookout for the new film ROOMMATE WARS which will go up on the site this Thursday.
Double also, be sure to keep your ears open during COCKSMITH for the incredible location sound recording by beef & sage’s very own, Will Elliott.
thank you,
kirk
a viral video in the sense that it actually has AIDS. Will Elliott, Kirk Johnson, and Teighlor Darr wish you “Bon Apetit!”
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ipoXEFVZoHs