Beef & Sage

After a brief hiatus, Beef & Sage brings you a new video to be thankful for. Happy Thanksgiving!!!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Wt-Rw70gYQo

Welcome to the world of High Definition. From now on, all new Beef & Sage video content will have the option of being viewed in HD. Simply click the “HD” button in the upper right hand corner of any new video to see it with dazzling clarity. And don’t worry, all you people with shitty slow computers, the videos are still set for normal playback, so you can keep enjoying our video goodness on your Apple II e-machine.

Hopefully, you’re not one of the hundreds of millions affected by the current pinkeye epidemic. But if you are, pry open those crusted eyelids and watch, because Kirk just might be able to cure you.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=I3FPyVvT4cM

Austin, TX
With the current state of the economy, a never-ending war being waged abroad, and the election of a new president, Americans have quite a bit to be worried about. But according to a new study conducted by the Johns Hopkins Institute of Research, all of these causes of woe “are totally poon” compared to the newest threat to our existence: Pinkeye. And the cause of this horrific affliction may shock you.
Pinkeye, also known as Trebon’s Syndrome, has baffled the medical world since its inception. Symptoms include redness of the eye, swelling, itching, and hyperflangea, a process in which the eye actually produces sour bread dough. And it is because of this bread dough, or “eyebatter,” that scientists have been able to trace the origin and cause of pinkeye.
“Upon examining the eyebatter under sophisticated electron microscopes, we were shocked to find traces of worms, sticks and feathers,” said Dr. P. Phrank Phelps of Johns Hopkins. “The components are the exact same as those found in pigeon stool. You know, poo-poo.”
It is believed that the pinkeye virus was brought to America by infected pigeons stowed away on trade ships. However, it remained dormant for hundreds of years until one of the diseased birds poo-poo’d directly into someone’s eyeball. The first reported case was from a prospector named Thaddeus Green in pioneer times.
The medical community has also turned its attention to pigeon pee-pee, stating that it might also be to blame for the recent outbreak of pinkeye.
The FDA has since released an official report stating that “It’s important to steer clear of pigeon excrement altogether. Both poo-poo and pee-pee.”