Beef & Sage

Beef & Sage proudly presents to you a historical re-enactment of the inagaural lay-out session shared between Robert E. Lee and Ulysses S. Grant after the Civil War.  Happy Memorial Day!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UI19G_VDqsU

See more from Beef & Sage on Vimeo.

In celebration of National Toddler Awareness Day as well as the 20 year anniversary of the first spam message ever sent over the internet, we encourage all of you to WATCH THIS VIDEO no less than 5 times in a row, SHARE THE VIDEO with no less than 5 friends, VOTE “funny” at the end of the video, “DIGG” the video using the bookmark link below, POST no less than 3 links to the video on your facebook page, and then go to twitter and TWEET about Manbabies till you can tweet no longer!

Problems viewing the video? Then watch it on FunnyOrDie or on Youtube.

Beef & Sage rediscover their true calling: hard hitting journalism.  From now on you can call me Dan Rather.
Call Kirk Connie Chung.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PmUIiok0nvY

Behold the climactic conclusion to Bulletstorm 4. After watching the first episode, Jason Statham came on to do some pro-bono wire fu training for us so pay attention. Our moves might just hearken you back to your virgin viewing of his masterpiece, Crank.

And check out Fishrockit.com in the coming days to see the extended, uncut, unrated, too hardcore for the internet, Special Edition of the film.

BS4E2 features tasty melodies performed by THE Taylor Vieger.

-Kirk

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kdysOf6czX4

Beef & Sage is proud to present Bulletstorm 4.  It’s important to know that this film would not exist if weren’t for the tireless work of director Joe Nicolosi, the mastermind behind Fishrockit.com.  Endless thanks to him and his visionary talent.  We’d also like to give a special thanks to our hair and makeup department.  The biannual Vidal Sasoon newsletter deemed our hair stylist Juan Paulo “one of the last true hair auteres” for his work in the first scene.  For her tireless efforts to conceal a horrendous strain of acne outbreaks all throughout shooting, makeup artist Rhonda Crantz was given a lifetime achievement award by the Universal Cosmetology Alliance.  Thank you and congratulations Juan and Rhonda!
On a more somber note, we’d like to send our condolences to the family of our first makeup artist Richard Nickels, who died of a lethal stress/fatigue cocktail after the first day of shooting.

Be sure to check out the new pictures from the set of Bulletstorm 4 and remember- it’s not too late to pick up an original Bulletstorm 4 movie poster from the Beef & Sage Webstore!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eIWnGUSnuP0

It’s no secret that it’s been a while since the last Beef & Sage video. After brief stints in the geode industry and the Texas Department of Corrections, Kirk and I have returned to Austin and have set out to do what we do best: kill people for money. With the new business, we just haven’t had time to make videos for your viewing pleasure. We hope this ad we made will suffice. It aired last Monday in between Days of Our Lives and the Reba Show (a very lucrative time slot).
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CZT_hLXksbA

Got the Valentine’s Day blues? No boy/girl friend? NAMBLA membership expire? Want to bury your face into a super-bucket of Kentucky Fried Foodstuffs? Well I have a spectacular offer for you! Vintage ‘93 is competing in this year’s Dirtiest Comedy Competition at the Scoot Inn this Friday. In addition to our fast food opus, there will be some other funny short films and stand-up comedians performing so put down the 20-sided die and come drink heavily. Plus, Will has already offered to get the first round of Cosmotini Bopples!

-Kirk

The wait is nearly over.  Prepare yourselves, because as soon as the good people at Industrial Light and Magic finish up with the effects shots for our new video, Bulletstorm 4, IT’S ON.  Beefandsage.com was forced to upgrade its web hosting service just so the video wouldn’t make the internet crash.  In anticipation of this blockbuster premiere, we recommend you go buy yourself a 70 inch widescreen HD monitor, state of the art surround sound speakers, and as many adult diapers as you can afford.  We’re serious.  Last week at a test screening, John Woo got so excited he sprayed poop all over Steven Segal AND Dolph Lundgren.

And check out the Official Beef & Sage Store, where you can get your own original Bulletstorm 4 movie poster just in time for Valentime’s Day.

-kirk and will

Check out this inaccurate but hilarious version of the original Star Wars saga, as retold by someone who has never seen any of the original films. More awesome animation, comics, films and scrumptious quiche recipes of Joe’s can be found at http://www.fishrockit.com

I regret to inform you that Will has not yet returned from his geode exploration in Midland, TX. We’ve had very little correspondence since he ventured west but it seems like things are going well for him. I received a package yesterday with no return address and inside it was $30,000 in small bills and an authentic Apache dreamcatcher. I can only assume it was from him and that he’s struck it big out there.

So in the absence of will.i.am, we’ve got another video by a friend of ours, Travis Henning. Travis was just recently named by Jambalaya Quarterly as one of the top filmmakers to watch of 2009. His film, THE NIGHT THE COOKIE CRUMBLED played in the Austin Film Festival this year and it’s very funny. Very similar to Pixar’s early stuff.

Also, if you have some free time, hop over to this website. I HATE YOU DAD is in competition to win some prize money so vote 5 stars! Thank you.